Narrator (00:05):
This recording is an offering of Networks for Training and Development's Online University.

Tracy Lapreziosa (00:12):
Welcome to our healing circle call brought you by Networks for Training and Development. Our healing circle occurs every first Monday of the month, and all the sessions are recorded so you can come back and listen to them at another time. So, if this is your first time with us, welcome.

Tracy Lapreziosa (00:31):
Our healing circle is a time when we come together and just be in the same space and ponder and think and meditate.

Tracy Lapreziosa (00:43):
My name is Tracy Previosa, and I'm coming to you from Preston, Pennsylvania on April 4th, 2022. Tonight, I'd like to talk a little bit about self care. It's been kind of the hot topic lately, hasn't it? For me, it's almost like a new topic. At least over the last 10 years, it's been like a new topic.

Tracy Lapreziosa (01:10):
My definition of self care, self help has been pretty much over the years, combing my hair, brushing my teeth, grabbing a bite to eat, and getting four or five hours of sleep at night. And that's basically what self care was for me, for a very, very long time.

Tracy Lapreziosa (01:32):
I was wondering, why was that my definition of self care? What's your definition of self care? Could it be that it comes from how we grew up? I think of my mother and I never saw her do anything for herself. Everything was for somebody else, always giving, always doing. Her self care was combing her hair, brushing your teeth, taking a rest, eating dinner. That was it. And that's kind what my self care had been, again for a very long time, until about 10 years ago. And what happens is that a life like that catches up with you, and you start to not be able to function. The stress builds. And the stress builds over time.

Tracy Lapreziosa (02:31):
So, as I redefined self care, as we talk about it now, as self care, that taking that time to grow and do the things that you need to do for yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually is what self care had evolved to be. But it's so hard. It's just so hard to find the time to do the self care. And if you're like me, I take a yellow highlighter and I highlight in my planner what times of the week are going to be my time. And you know, at the end of the week, I look at the next week, I'm like, "Oh. Look at all those yellow spots. Isn't that great?" And by Monday, when I look at my calendar, I've all of a sudden inked in most of those spots, wiping away all the time that I set for myself.

Tracy Lapreziosa (03:30):
So what are the blocks for self care? What are the blocks? What keeps us from being able to do the self care? And the one thing that comes to mind is unclear boundary, not having boundary. What's mine is yours. What yours is mine? My calendar's not mine. You put things on my calendar. I allow you to put things on my calendar. I allow myself to get that call. And if I can't fit it in Monday through Friday, okay. How about Saturday morning? I'll give you Saturday morning, and not having boundaries. Not having boundaries is a block. And we all need boundaries. We need to set boundaries. We need to have a time and space that is ours, that is sacred. And we're not going to allow someone to take that from us.

Tracy Lapreziosa (04:26):
And we might feel guilty about it, at first. We might have anxiety and feel like we're going to hurt other people's feelings. But I know that, when I come across that person that has a boundary and I ask them to do something and they tell me, "Well, I can't do that because that's my time with my family, or that's my time that I do this, or that's my time for me," I respect that. I respect that a lot. And it's been hearing other people being able to say that and show me that they have boundaries that's enabling me to develop some boundaries on my own. And I'm getting a little better about marking out those spaces in my calendar. And I'm getting a little bit better about saying, no, when somebody asks me to take another client or do a project or something I really don't have time for. And I'm getting better at it. But I'm a work in progress.

Tracy Lapreziosa (05:32):
But one of the things that I think we need to do is just get rid of that visualization of us being so interconnected to all the other people and demands around us. So, just take a minute to close your eyes and imagine yourself in a container. There's a clear boundary. Where is that boundary? Is it really close to you or is it at arm's length? As you're visualizing, if it feels a little bit too close, take your hands and push it out there. Usually, when I do this visualization, when I feel myself in my container, my container's pretty tight. I'm kind of stuck in a pretty tight space and I have to visualize myself pushing it out around me, pushing out that bubble, pushing it out, give me space, create that space around me, and visualize what's in that container with you.

Tracy Lapreziosa (06:32):
What are the things that need to be in that container with you? Is it meditation time? Is it time digging in the dirt in your garden? Is it time taking a walk or just sitting outside and listening to the birds? What's in that sacred container with you? What needs to be in there with you? Think about those things, create that container, create that space.

Tracy Lapreziosa (06:56):
And you know, there are times when the container can be a little flexible. There are times in our lives where the container gets a little bit smaller or it gets a little bit larger. We need more space or we need a little less space. But we need to have that container. We need to have the boundaries. We need to be able to say, no, and not feel guilty. We need to be able to take care of ourselves.

Tracy Lapreziosa (07:22):
Now, what else blocks self care. I find that, when my energy level is in that, I'll call it fight or flight mode, when your body just feels all antsy, just feel like you got to go, go, go, go, go. You can't sit still. Things are happening all around you, and you're just going and going and doing things. And you're almost on automatic pilot. You do things and you're not even quite sure what you did, because you're just doing them automatically. And that's something I experience in my lifetime over a number of years of doing a job for a very long time and being in a very stressful environment. And it just got to be automatic pilot, functioning at a high, high level of energy, sleeping very little, relaxing not at all. So, we need to find a way to clear out that stress or slow down that turmoil that's twirling around inside of us.

Tracy Lapreziosa (08:29):
Stop and think about it. And you visualize your core as a cylinder. When you're in that fight or flight mode, you may feel almost like a tornado or a whirlpool, it's just going round and round and round. And it's just really an intense energy inside of you.

Tracy Lapreziosa (08:47):
And stress is not always bad that causes that. It's positive things, or Ah-hah moments, or hold your breath moments, create that same swirl of high energy. So, we need to calm that energy down, get rid of that stress, or positive stress, whatever is going on. We need to calm it.

Tracy Lapreziosa (09:13):
So, you're in your container, but inside of you is also this cylinder or container with this energy, and that is just swirling and swirling and swirling. So, we're going to breathe in and breathe out. Just get a really nice slow breath going. And as your breath deepens and slows down, so should that whirling dervish energy slow down and settle. So, continue to breathe and feel the energy calming, slowing the tornado or whirlpool, or whatever's going on inside You, just flattening it out, becoming slower and slower and slower, so you no longer feel that whirling sense of energy. Maybe just some bubbling, some bubbling energy. Maybe continue to breathe deep. Let those bubbles slow down.

Tracy Lapreziosa (10:27):
Now, imagine you're outside and you're in the sun and you're feeling all that warmth. And the warmth is slowing down that energy. Continue to breathe deep and slow, in and out. Put one hand over your heart and the other behind your neck, and just feel what's happening to the energy in your body. Then, put both hands on your heart. Bring your hands to your heart space. And continue to breathe slow and deep. With your hands on your heart, you can feel that love vibration, which is slow and steady. It's that love vibration for yourself, and for others. But we need to have that self love. We need to relax and focus on that self love, so we don't feel guilty about taking care of ourselves.

Tracy Lapreziosa (11:37):
Now, visualize that warmth and love traveling through your bones, through your ribs, through your hips, through your legs, through your skull, traveling through the tissues, muscles, through your whole being. Continue to breathe and allow the dissolving of layers of stress, layers of trauma, that just melt. The love vibrations trickle out and they dissolve old patterns. But continue to breathe a few more minutes and feel that love pulsing through your body. You can visualize yourself while you're doing this, and visualize love just beaming, radiating out from around you, radiating out to all the people around you that you love.

Tracy Lapreziosa (12:40):
So, I want you to wiggle your fingers, rub your arms, and back for a moment. So we have these blocks, the boundaries, the stress. We visualized our container that we're going to use to set some boundaries. And we visualized our inner core, how to calm that turbulent water within us.

Tracy Lapreziosa (13:02):
Now, third block, lack of inner awareness, that lack of being mindful. How do we cultivate mindfulness? We need to learn to be present in the moment. We need to move from doing to being. Because it is in being that the true self care can occur. So, we want to just be. So, take a minute and pause and notice what you notice in your body, in your mind, and work to reset it, to being right here, right now, in this moment, experiencing whatever is happening with you in the moment, your chair, your thoughts, your breath.

Tracy Lapreziosa (13:59):
So, let's put one hand on the back of your head where the neck connects to the skull. And let's put the other hand at your third eye or on your forehead. And we're just going to relax and breathe. What are you noticing? What are you noticing in this moment, right here, right now, with your energy. Then move the hand from your third eye or your forehead to the top of your head, the crown, and bring your other hand that was on the back of your neck, bring that one down to your heart. Now we're connecting that heart space and the crown, and return to our inner wisdom.

Tracy Lapreziosa (14:48):
Ask yourself, "What do I need to change? What do I need to change in my routine so that I can be able to take time for self care? What do I need to do to change?" Connecting your heart and your thoughts. What's popping in your head. You have a pencil or pen handy, grab it, jot down what's coming to mind. What are you telling yourself that you need to do to be mindful, to de-stress, to set boundaries, to be in the here and now, to be here right now? What do you need?

Tracy Lapreziosa (15:34):
Continue to breathe deep. Continue to notice your thoughts. Continue to listen to yourself. Listening to yourself is a form of self care. Being mindful and in the moment is what you need to take care of yourself.

Tracy Lapreziosa (16:06):
Just bring your hands back down. Just rest them and continue to breathe. Whenever you are feeling a little stressed, or feeling like you're losing those boundaries, or you need time for self care, try to remember the three little visualizations, the container around you, keeping those boundaries, that cylindrical core within you, keeping that energy calm and peaceful and grounded, being able to become aware of your inner thoughts and be mindful, and be in the right here, right now, and notice what you notice, and listen to your thoughts, and listen to your heart.

Tracy Lapreziosa (17:16):
Thank you for joining the healing circle. Call, April 4th, 2022. And may you wake up tomorrow feeling a renewed sense of wanting to take care of yourself so that you can be of better service to others.

Tracy Lapreziosa (17:37):
Thanks again for joining us, and be sure to check out previous recordings on our YouTube channel or on our website. And we look forward to your return next month.

Narrator (18:01):
Thank you for listening. We hope the information provided was helpful. Don't forget to stop by our website and take advantage of all we have to offer.