Jessicas Stover 0:07 [musical interlude] Jessicas Stover 0:09 This recording is an offering of Networks for Training and Development's Online University. Rosa McAllister 0:24 Aloha, this is Rosa McAllister with Networks for Training and Development. And it's February 4, 2019. And this is our monthly Healing Circle Call. I am honored to be the leader.this time, this month. Rosa McAllister 0:45 We have these Healing Circle Calls on the first Monday of every month at 8pm Eastern time. I'm here in beautiful sunny Maui and I'm sending love and warmth to all of you who may be in the frozen winter tundra or the winter vortex, swirling winds and snow or rain. Rosa McAllister 1:05 Once again, it seems that we are in a time of change, a time of conflict, a time of strange happenings. Many places are dealing with extraordinarily cold temperatures. While other places that are supposed to be cold or not. There was a tornado in Cuba, where I'm headed to later tonight. Cuba doesn't get tornadoes. There's been wildfires and floods and all kinds of other things that have been happening. And here we are time together. once again, to breathe. to meditate a little bit and to remember that we're not alone. That's the nature of these Healing Circle Calls and I'm so glad you're here with me today. Rosa McAllister 1:52 I was extraordinarily blessed this weekend. I was at a workshop, a retreat with my Babas , as I call him, Baba Ram Dass. Ram Dass is a very well known person in the healing, meditation, yoga world what have you. Ram Dass has lived a very full life, is now in his mid to late 80s. And while his body regularly complains, as he says, and has disappointed him in many ways over the years, Baba is still full of joy. You can feel it, you can see it, you can hear it, it pours out of every pore of his body and beautifully from his face. This retreat was planned for some time. It's a kind of an annual event, although expanded upon this year, thankfully, and again, I can't believe the joy, possibilities that my neighbor, my friend, one of my teachers since the 1970s when I was in college is Baba Ram Dass. Joining with him this time at this retreat was Frank Ostaseski, who is an amazing man very well known in the hospice world. Frank started assisting people in the San Francisco area many, many years ago during the AIDS epidemic, epidemic. Unknown Speaker 3:24 And he continues to - he has the Zen Hospice Center in San Francisco, that he has run for many, many years and has trained many, many people, hospice workers, nurses, doctors, family members, caregivers, all kinds of different folks over the years and around the world, how to better be with people as they are dying. Also, joining us this weekend was Roshi Joan Halifax, who is another incredible person I've known and read for many decades. She also was very well known in the hospice world and the death and dying world is very prolific writer. She also teaches at medical schools and she also, she lives in the Santa Fe area where she also has the Zen Buddhist Center. Together, they offered all of us incredible gifts of learning, remembering, relearning, and practice. Unknown Speaker 4:20 Interestingly enough, Baba Ram wasn't sure that he was going to be able to make it to this retreat. He had just come out of the ICU at Maui Memorial Hospital, where he had been for the last week or so with a very severe infection. Frank and Joan - Roshi Joan spoke very honestly and intimately about visiting him in the hospital and wondering whether he was going to come out, whether he would be able to be released from the hospital, or whether this would be kind of the end of Baba Ram Dass. Ram Dass, or RD, as many call him, suffered severe stroke actually a series of strokes about 20 years ago that left him unable to speak for quite a while or with very halting aphasia speech, where words were not his friends, as he said, and they eluded him often. But I've seen him many, many times recently. And it's incredible to me how his speech is actually getting better. How while his body is wracked and is failing him in many ways and is very, very fragile, his voice is stronger, his humor is sweeter, and his joy is more apparent than ever. So I wanted to share with you some of my learnings, re-learnings rememberings, from Baba, from Frank, and from Roshi Joan from this weekend. Rosa McAllister 6:00 I want to start as I oftentimes like to start with all of us by breathing together, and a meditation. I'd like to offer you one of Baba Ram Dass' favorite meditations that he has used probably for the last decade or so. I want us all to take in a deep breath, hold it as long as you can, and then let it out with a ahhhh - A-H-H-H-H - ahhhhh. Rosa McAllister 6:26 Ahhhh is the sound of the heart chakra. The chakra system is the energy centers in our body. Some believe that there are seven Some believe that there are 13. Some believe that there 777 chakras or energy centers in our bodies, but all have the heart as one of theirs and one of the primary ones. Rosa McAllister 6:53 Baba Ram Dass is all about believing in and seeking and finding and holding more light and more joy and more love. I see oftentime he says, Everything is love". Everything is love. It was one of the teachings that he learned from the Maharishi, from his Baba. And so, I'd like us all to take a deep breath together. {sound of inhalation} Rosa McAllister 7:23 Hold it as long as you can. Rosa McAllister 7:26 And then in your time, let it out with an Ahhhhhh whether you do it quietly or out loud. And let's do that again together another deep breath in. {sound of inhalation] Rosa McAllister 7:40 Hold it as long as you can. Rosa McAllister 7:43 And let it out with Ahhhhh.. Rosa McAllister 7:49 We're going to do this together. One more time. Finding your rhythm for a deep breath in. [inhalation] Rosa McAllister 7:57 Hold it as long as you can. Rosa McAllister 8:01 And letting it out with an Ahhhhh. Rosa McAllister 8:05 to open more your heart chakra, your heart center. I want you to if you're in a seated position, have your back straight and your feet on the floor. If your shoes can come off and your socks can come off and you can just have bare feet, that would be great. But don't worry about it if you can't, and try to make sure that your shoulders are down and your head, is, your neck is elevated so that the top of your head or the crown chakra is facing the sky and stars and the sun. Rosa McAllister 8:38 Find a rhythm, a comfortable rhythm for your breath. Rosa McAllister 8:42 And I want you to quietly say to yourself, this mantra, Baba Ram Dass' mantra -- "I am love awareness. I am love awareness. I am love awareness." Rosa McAllister 9:11 Find your own rhythm with your breath. and that mantra, "I am love awareness". I'm going to give us a few minutes of soft quiet, where we can each be in our own breath and our own mantra. Rosa McAllister 9:27 "I am love awareness." {minute of silence] Rosa McAllister 10:25 Let's together take another deep breath in, Rosa McAllister 10:29 hold it as long as you can. Rosa McAllister 10:32 and let it out with an Ahhhhhh. Rosa McAllister 10:38 Really do two more breaths together. Breath in, Rosa McAllister 10:44 hold it as long as you can, Rosa McAllister 10:48 breath out Ahhhhhh. Rosa McAllister 10:54 And the last one breath in, Rosa McAllister 10:58 hold it as long as you can, Rosa McAllister 11:02 and breath out Ahhhhh. Rosa McAllister 11:10 As Baba likes to say, what if the next time you were stressed, you breathed into your heart chakra to help open it up just as you just did, and you thought for a couple minutes, I am love awareness. I am love awareness. What if the next time you are angry - furious - you opened your heart chakra by breathing as you just did and meditated to yourself just for a few minutes as you just did. I am love awareness. I am love awareness. What if the next time you were sad, worried. or couldn't sleep or were with someone who was angry or sad or worried... what if then you opened your heart chakra by breathing into it as you just did and meditated quietly on I am love awareness. How would that change things? How would that change you? Rosa McAllister 12:29 Roshi Joan Halifax talked at length about her journey through this life, through her practice many years as a practicing Buddhist nun now. She said one of the things that she's needed to focus on, not just being love awareness, but reminders of her actual physical self. That she has a strong back. As she said, She's always had a strong back. I know I have one. But equally, she has a soft front. And she also needs to keep her feet grounded. Rosa McAllister 13:11 So if you think of the human body, the strong back, that's where our protections are. That's where armor is, the back of our skull protects our brain. Our spinal cord protects our organs. Our derriere, our large muscle groups, oftentimes are found in our lower leg- in our legs along the back of our body. It's the strength of our body, it's our protection. Rosa McAllister 13:41 And yet we also have very vulnerable, soft fronts. It's where our faces that shows expression. It's where our mouth is, that gives voice to words and feelings. It's where our heart is, it's where our genitalia and our sexual organs and our other organs and our vulnerabilities are located. But just as important as having a strong back is recognizing and remembering that we have a vulnerable and beautiful soft front. Rosa McAllister 14:17 And without our feet being grounded, we're just the floating mess to be honest. So her practice has been meditating, "I have a strong back. I have a soft front, and my feet are grounded". Rosa, Quoting Frank Ostaseski 14:37 Frankly Ostaseski shared many, many different learnings - as the others did as well. And I'm going to read to you just a few of his - a handful of them - that he shared. He said, "the best gift we can give ourselves is to forgive ourselves". I'll say it again. "The best gift we can give ourselves is to forgive ourselves. We're all human. We're all a mess. We all make mistakes. We flounder, we are foibled. We goof up, a lot. Rosa, Quoting Frank Ostaseski 15:16 Some of us, probably all of us, carry nuggets of regrets, nuggets of things we wish we didn't say, wish we didn't do, wish we had done something else. What if we could raise them to the light? And what if we could say to ourselves, with all honesty, I forgive me, I forgive myself. And what if we could take that old hurt or that old regret or that old issue and put it in a box and not bury it, or put it in the attic, or the basement? But gift away, or put it in the trash,, give it to Salvation Army. What if we could really forgive ourselves? It takes practice but we can. Rosa, Quoting Frank Ostaseski 16:08 He also said, whatever we give space to, can move, whatever we give space to can move. So when we forgive ourselves and box up a long standing regret, we give space to move to more creativity, move to more love, move to more forgiveness for ourselves and others. Rosa, Quoting Frank Ostaseski 16:37 He sad the real practice, however, is when you're almost at the bus stop. The kids are screaming in the back and your car breaks down. When shit hits the fan. That's when the real practice is needed. To forgive ourselves, to remember we have strong backs and equally soft fronts, and needed feet grounded. And that we are love awareness. That's when we need it most. Rosa, Quoting Frank Ostaseski 17:07 He said sometimes the most we can say to someone is, I can't imagine what you are experiencing. Sometimes the most we can say to someone else is, I can't imagine what you are experiencing. Rather than, oh, that's awful. That reminds me of the time that I or oh my gosh, you think that's bad? Well, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Letting someone who is sad or hurting or regretting or worried, know that you're hearing and you are seeing them and that you're holding them in your heart by saying something like, I can't imagine what you're experiencing. Because we don't know. Rosa, Quoting Frank Ostaseski 17:56 And he went on to say that not knowing is sometimes the greatest intimacy, not knowing is sometimes the greatest intimacy. Because what it does is it opens up our humility. It opens up our vulnerability to let another person know that we see and hear them and want to love them and are loving them. Rosa, Quoting Frank Ostaseski 18:28 He also said that too often we quote "pay attention to someone or something", when instead, we should be lending our attention or offering our attention or giving our attention or gifting our attention. What a difference that would make. We're not paying attention or asking someone to pay us, and yet isn't that oftentimes how it feels? Rosa McAllister 18:53 What if somehow instead, you made sure that you offered your attention, you gave your attention, you will lent your attention, you gifted your attention to someone or something. Baba Ram went on to say that there are three ways of loving -- helping, fixing, and serving. Helping is for the immediate, the immediate need, the immediate issue, the immediate concern. Fixing is really for you, for us, to feel better. But serving, serving is for the soul. Yours, theirs, and the world's. I'll say this again. Baba says, "there are three ways of loving --- helping, fixing, and serving. Helping is for the immediate. Fixing is for you. But serving is for the soul yours, theirs, and the world's". Rosa McAllister 19:55 There were so many other learnings, so many more meditations, so many more rememberings, so many more laughs and tears. But I want to end with this, as they ended our time together, with Buddhist Five Remembrances. This has been quoted by many and interpreted by many, but this is my favorite. My favorite version Buddhist Five Remembrances. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death. All of it is dear to me and everyone I love, are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand. Rosa McAllister 21:04 So in closing, my wish for you, for all of us, is that this February is full of love awareness. This February is full of you knowing that you have a strong back, but that you have an equally soft front and that your feet are very grounded. My hope is that this February is full of forgiveness for ourselves and for others and lots of space to move. My hope for this February for all of us is that we find greater intimacy with loved ones and with ourselves and that we don't just pay attention, but we gift attention to many. My hope for this February is that we find ways of serving, being of service more to one another, not necessarily helping or fixing, but serving. Rosa McAllister 22:12 Thank you so much for spending this time with me, this time together, this time breathing and meditating and holding each other in our hearts. Thank you and I look forward to next month. Mahalo and Aloha. Jessicas Stover 22:39 Thank you for listening. We hope the information provided was helpful. Don't forget to stop by our website and take advantage of all we have to offer. Transcribed by https://otter.ai