Geralyn Anderson Arango (00:12): Hey, family members. Remember my last episode on Five Steps for Turning Worry into Action? If you remember, step two was to get focused and get informed, so let's get focused and informed about financial planning with Mark Solomon of Financial Guidance for Special Needs Families. Geralyn Anderson Arango (00:32): Hello and welcome to season five of Our Parallel Paths, A Future from My Loved One With a Disability and For Me. I'm your host, Gerry, Dr. Geralyn Arango Deeley, and this podcast is about just what the title says, the parallel paths of family members and their loved ones with intellectual disabilities. I'm a parent myself and I always have questions. Our Parallel Paths is about nurturing and supporting ourselves as we nurture and support our loved ones with intellectual disabilities because our roles as family members are ever-changing and evolving alongside our loved ones, so there's more than one path, more than one future to talk about, and that's why we're here. Geralyn Anderson Arango (01:18): I hope the stories and perspectives of my podcast guests and me give you hope, information, and ideas for your path. So, like I said, I wanted to follow up on my last episode, episode one, where I was thinking about what to do besides worrying about my loved one's future. That episode was about finding another way to address the useless emotion of worry. And in that case, it was worry about the mess that was poised to happen when paperwork issues snagged Nic's Medicaid waiver renewal, because in that moment, I thought, I have to do this differently. There's no space for hysteria, which is where I was. So I thought about saying like, I'm concerned about, or I need to do something about, or I need to learn more about. Geralyn Anderson Arango (02:11): And that's why my guest today is Mark Solomon of Financial Guidance for Special Needs Families. My husband, Michael, and I have different go-tos for information on planning for Nic and learning more about it, and Mark Solomon's Financial Guidance YouTube channel, website and Facebook page is one of our newer resources. Mark and his wife, Suzanne, they're on the "parallel path" themselves. They're parents and financial planners for families like ours. So welcome, Mark, and thank you for being here. Mark Solomon (02:46): Thank you, Gerry. It's my pleasure to be here. Um. Geralyn Anderson Arango (02:49): So you maybe- Mark Solomon (02:50): Go ahead. Geralyn Anderson Arango (02:51): Tell us a little bit about yourself and your family story. Mark Solomon (02:55): Sure, as you, as you said, I'm Mark Solomon. My wife is Suzanne. Our sons are Martin and Robert. They are twins. Uh, they are 25, soon to be 26 next month, July, actually at the end of July. And, uh, they were ... talk about them just really quickly. They were diagnosed with autism and ADHD, um, uh, geesh, 22 years ago when they were three years old. So we've been working at this a long time. And fast-forward to, uh, about 15 years ago, I, uh, got introduced to the financial, uh, the financial side of things. Basically, I became a, as, Gerry says financial planner. Basically, I was a fully licensed financial professional, and I did that for more than, a decade, and it got to the point where these paths collided between being a financial planner and doing all that was necessary for our sons. Mark Solomon (03:58): And, uh, Suzanne and I got together and talked about what we could do. And, um, at the time, uh, a Facebook group, putting one together to address these issues of financial planning for special needs families came up, and we went on a real super-fast learning curve about, benefits and insurances and all different kinds of aspects of planning for special needs, for everyone. And what basically has happened has kind of ex-, uh, exploded into our Facebook group, having over 4,000 members- Geralyn Anderson Arango (04:36): Right. Mark Solomon (04:37): ... our YouTube channel where we're trying to approach a thousand soon. Uh, we have a club ... we have, now have 200 videos on all these things that we speak about. But the main reason that we're doing it is for, is educational for folks. Most people are very stressed out about financial matters in regard to their children, mostly benefits, how they work, um, the things that, you know, they need to do and, and how can they save because most people are walking around in fear in regard to their money. What's going to happen in the future when I pass away? That is the biggest, the ... I would say that's the number one thing that bother folks the most or they're most concerned about, is how am I going to provide for my child after I pass away? Mark Solomon (05:22): So we've put together kind of a guide for, you know, like a, like, I don't know what's the word I want to look for, like a, uh, a map to putting together a financial plan specifically for special needs families. The tools are the same for everyone, but they don't all work the same for everyone. Geralyn Anderson Arango (05:41): Okay. Mm-hmm. Mark Solomon (05:42): So, so basically what, um, the last thing I basically want to kind of say is, is that we're trying to alleviate the stress, the daily stress financially, so that you can focus more on what your family's needs are and have this in place so you're really just monitoring it instead of juggling all these balls and spinning all these plates with your money. Geralyn Anderson Arango (06:04): Okay. Okay. That's, that's why you're here. I hear you say that on all the videos, (laughs)- Mark Solomon (06:09): (laughs) Geralyn Anderson Arango (06:09): ... that's like kind of started and that's exactly why we were like, let's listen to a few more of these. So in your experience, how, what are the pieces that make it different, planning for families of adults with disabilities as opposed to a typical family who have adult children? Mark Solomon (06:29): Well, typical families with adult children are usually very ecstatic because they're out of the house and they no longer have to provide for them. Geralyn Anderson Arango (06:36): (laughs) Mark Solomon (06:37): And they're ... but the biggest thing is, like, as a parent, you always worry about your child, even if they're typical. But if they're able to be self-sustaining, take care of themselves, have a house, have a, have a marriage, have a family, you're usually there on the periphery, you know, answering whatever questions that come up with them. More ... It's more about joy and the experience of getting older as your kids grow and they have a family of their own. Mark Solomon (07:05): Um, our experience is not that. And the difference is, is that, um, I kind of talk about the fact that we feel, in our experience, that we're stuck in the teenage years with our kids in regard to their, um, their emotional, uh, and psychological maturity. Geralyn Anderson Arango (07:27): Mm-hmm. Mark Solomon (07:28): So we're perpetually worried about them the same way we were when they were 12 or 13 and dealing with a lot of the same things that they were working through behaviorally, psychologically, cognitively, uh, emotionally, physically, and so that is constant for us as a special needs family, and it never goes away. The kind of care that you need to put in place for or put forth for your children with special needs is ongoing and perpetual. Um, you never kind of get to the end. And I, and that's the struggle, is the, as we've talked about, exhaustion, stress, worry and, um, just fear of the future. So those are the things that are different. The fear of the future for a typical family is totally different- Geralyn Anderson Arango (08:17): Uh-huh. Mark Solomon (08:18): ... than the fear of the future for a special needs family. They're much more vulnerable. They can be easily taken care of or abused. And a lot of the worry that, and I'm just getting chills thinking about it, a lot of the worry for us is we want to protect them, and we want to make sure that they're going to be okay even when we're gone. Geralyn Anderson Arango (08:38): Yeah. Mark Solomon (08:38): Uh, most typical families don't have that worry. They know that their children are going to be okay because, why? They already have their own lives and they're already taking care of themselves. Geralyn Anderson Arango (08:47): Right. Mark Solomon (08:47): So that's the difference I see. Geralyn Anderson Arango (08:50): That ... I, I, I hear you on all those pieces because I hear that in Nic's story as well. Much as we are trying to give him, you know ... He's working in the community. He's living - living in the community. He's got a lot of supports. But I always think if I die tomorrow, what happens? Um. Mark Solomon (09:07): Right. Geralyn Anderson Arango (09:07): Where does it all fall apart? And if I, if I break down some of the pieces of what I do, they're really minuscule things like, you know, this is weird. Um, like, who cuts his nails? You know, who's gonna make sure of the little bitty things, you know? Mark Solomon (09:25): Right. Geralyn Anderson Arango (09:25): And those are things that I don't worry about with my daughter. She's got a, went and got a manicure. Um. Mark Solomon (09:29): Right. Geralyn Anderson Arango (09:30): So it is a different level of worry at that sort of micro level that we so often our other children grow out of, you know? Mark Solomon (09:38): Right. Geralyn Anderson Arango (09:39): And so, um, yeah. And, and again, we had talked a little before the podcast about the idea that our families have been advocating to a greater or lesser degree. This is not where we're starting, this is just where we're restarting because we're out of the school system and the, and what they're entitled to and now we're qualifying. So. Mark Solomon (10:02): Right. Geralyn Anderson Arango (10:03): When they're sitting down with a financial planner like yourself. What we had also, my, my husband and I had said, "We're gonna go talk to somebody," a financial planner. And it turned out to be more, less financial planning and more asset management. And we walked away going, "I think we've got the asset management part. We're a little bit okay with that." What we wanted was guidance about it. And so it's, as I listened to your videos, um, on YouTube and on Facebook, it feels like it's a little bit different because it doesn't feel like there's necessarily a sell at the end of this. It's guidance. And so, I would love you to, to tell me more about sitting down with someone like yourself, what that looks like for a family like my own. Mark Solomon (10:50): Uh, well, the difference is, is the end, uh, the ends are different, right? Um, first of all, there's no sales in, in what I do. I'm not selling any products and I'm not even selling myself. Um, my consultations are complimentary always, um, because it's informational. Mark Solomon (11:11): I'm, my goal when I sit with someone is to relieve a stress, a pressure, get some education, clarification. I've had people tell me, "Mark, I haven't slept for three days worrying about this one thing that we're talking about today." And after talking with them, you know, and it's happened several times that they, they are so grateful because that stressor is now gone and they can park it and they don't have to deal with it anymore 'cause now they have the understanding because there's so many abstracts. And when you deal with the government and with benefits, um, inside of the, the melee of all the things that we're dealing with, with doctors and therapies and transportation and, uh, food issues and, uh, behavior stuff or living arrangements and all these other things that we're thinking about, when you can tick one box and not have to worry about it, that's just such a help. Mark Solomon (12:06): So that's the, the main goal that we're trying to reach. But the end is to have something substantial that you can hold onto that you can work with. It's like giving someone a toolkit- Geralyn Anderson Arango (12:18): Mm-hmm. Mark Solomon (12:18): ... To build a house, but they're all kitchen utensils. That's not, we, we try to give people the kind of tools that they can use to move forward and, uh, as questions arise, and we usually give them, you know, um, a path forward. Like, the first thing you guys need to do is this and then follow up with this, and these are the priorities. Mark Solomon (12:40): It's always about priorities based on what they're telling me, not on what I'm telling them. And that's also the difference. And there's usually you start figuring out how to pay down your debt. You need to do these things, and it's always kind of the same. When I sit with someone with a special needs family, um, they could be off the rails scared about losing benefits. So we have to talk about fixing that first, and then we can go back to asking questions about, "Well, how's your income? How's your savings? What are we doing here? This is how we can take advantage of these, these things for you." So yeah, the difference is I'm not doing anything by rote. There's a specific toolkit, but it applies differently to everybody. Geralyn Anderson Arango (13:24): Okay. Okay. It sounds much more holistic and kind of, and family-centered rather than product-centered. Mark Solomon (13:31): Exactly. Geralyn Anderson Arango (13:32): Yeah. Mark Solomon (13:32): It's exactly what it's about. Geralyn Anderson Arango (13:35): Okay. And, um, are you, uh, in these days of, uh, the word Medicaid existing in the same sentence way too often with the word cut, um, what are you thinking about with regard to what you're sharing with families? How is that impacting your work? Mark Solomon (13:53): I tend not to worry. Geralyn Anderson Arango (13:55): Okay. Mark Solomon (13:55): And I'll explain to you why if, and, um, I always tell people, I just had a video, I did a, like a week or two ago about empowering yourself, 'cause right now people are freaking out. Um. Geralyn Anderson Arango (14:07): Yes. Mark Solomon (14:07): All over Facebook, people are freaking out and justifiably so. Geralyn Anderson Arango (14:13): Yes. Mark Solomon (14:14): I mean, this is one of the main components to your special needs financial existence is supplemental med-, medical coverage for your children, uh, whether they be adults or not, because, um, out of pocket for certain therapies. I mean, I alw-, I just said this, a friend of ours whose son has SMA, which is Spinal Muscular Atrophy, which is a muscular dystrophy, his four-time-a-year medical treatment is a million dollars each time. And without any kind of supplemental help or anything, like, there's no way that there's a co-pay that can be paid. There's no way. The, the good thing is that they're in this trial, but there are people who are not in a trial who have expensive med- medications that if they're not able to pay copays of hundreds or thousands of dollars, their child goes without. Mark Solomon (15:05): So I understand why people get, are getting kind of freaked out. But so what I tell people is, based on your state and based on the federal government, read about what exactly is going on. Get the information regarding specifically your situation, what your state is doing in regard to be happening. Mark Solomon (15:24): In California, um, the, the, whatever they're trying, whatever the governor's trying to propose has almost nothing to do with special needs families per se. But whenever you're dealing with the government, things change a lot. So I, I just, you know, I, I, I encourage people to read and, and, and do research and find out what the language is because try not to listen to a bunch of talking heads. Mark Solomon (15:53): Uh, a lot of the times people will be saying something that's inflammatory. They use words like, this could happen, this could happen. Well, a lot of things could happen, but I looked up the number of people who are on any kind of assistance in this country right now, and it's over 68%. And special needs is well over 30 to 35%, um, of, of the population that is receiving benefits. So, um, I don't see them cutting anything too severely if they do, because too many people would be destitute or have lots of problems. I think they're trying to eliminate, um, waste. But other than that, I am, we gotta take it by a case by case basis and be informed, and not to panic. Running around scared like the sky's falling is not gonna help you. Geralyn Anderson Arango (16:43): Okay. I, I'm actually really happy you said that because, um, I'm trying to tamp it down myself. You know, to be like, don't, don't, read and try to understand above the, the headlines what's in the article, you know? Mark Solomon (16:58): Right. Geralyn Anderson Arango (16:59): Yeah. Mark Solomon (16:59): What, what Medicaid looks like in your state. Geralyn Anderson Arango (17:02): Mm-hmm. Mark Solomon (17:02): Right. And what they are doing to adjust to what could be coming or what is coming. Geralyn Anderson Arango (17:08): Yeah. Mark Solomon (17:08): Or what isn't happening. Geralyn Anderson Arango (17:10): Okay. Mark Solomon (17:10): Right. Geralyn Anderson Arango (17:10): Yeah. Mark Solomon (17:11): Um, because it's a state by state basis. Geralyn Anderson Arango (17:14): Yes, it is. Yes, it is. So I hope that that is better news for most states or all states, you know? Mark Solomon (17:20): Absolutely. Geralyn Anderson Arango (17:21): So. Mark Solomon (17:21): Yes, absolutely. Geralyn Anderson Arango (17:22): Okay. And so, um, another thing I think about, and this is huge. I have, my son Nic has an older sister. She's three years older. She's married. She's about to have her second child. She lives in the next, she's not in Pennsylvania. Um, but she, and, and she's, they're, they're close and she loves her brother. But what I think about, and I wonder your thoughts on this, is when it comes to siblings. Mark Solomon (17:55): Mm-hmm. Geralyn Anderson Arango (17:55): The person who is going to be the next one, she is the, she's the successor power Geralyn Anderson Arango (18:00): ... our attorney, she's the successor trustee on the trust. She's, she's the next in line. And, you know, she's, she's not even 30, and she's starting her own family. And it's... I started some episodes with siblings, and I want to do more because I'm really questioning this myself. So someone comes to you and says, you know, "My daughter, my son is gonna take my role when I'm gone. What do they need to know? What can... What... This is... This keeps me up at night sometimes. Geralyn Anderson Arango (18:33): I've started trying to gather all the information for her so that she can find -- Mark Solomon (18:37): Mm-hmm. Geralyn Anderson Arango (18:37): ... anything she needs. But what are your thoughts on siblings who might be, you know, assuming the mantle when I'm... When the parents are gone? Mark Solomon (18:46): Um, well, uh, first of all, it's wonderful that that can happen, 'cause that's not always the case. Geralyn Anderson Arango (18:53): True. And people with large families- Mark Solomon (18:57): Um, talk to plenty of people that- Geralyn Anderson Arango (18:57): Yeah. Mark Solomon (18:57): There i- right, right. I do talk to plenty of people who have a, a, a child that is like all in, "Yeah, I'm..." Uh, "don't worry, Mom, I'm, I'm gonna handle it." So I don't know if it's advice or a guideline, but I would always want to keep them in the loop as everything progresses constantly, "Hey, we're doing this. Can you come in on this meeting?" Or afterwards, "Can we get some time so I can fill you in and keep you up to date with what's happening, how it works, and what it means to you for the future? And, um, and I'll keep you up with changes." Mark Solomon (19:33): I think a lot of problems that people run into is a, like a, a set it and forget it mentality. Like, okay, I've got the sibling they say they want to do it. Okay, we've got this in place, we've got that in place. They're gonna be the subsequent trustee, they're gonna be the subsequent guardian. Um, okay, great. They've signed onto it, and then you don't talk- Geralyn Anderson Arango (19:56): Mm-hmm. Mark Solomon (19:57): ... for 10 years about it. Geralyn Anderson Arango (19:58): Yeah. Mark Solomon (19:59): And then it, it comes upon them and now they have no idea how it works. They really don't know how the trust works. They don't understand. And now they have to go through everything that you did 'cause now you're gone. Geralyn Anderson Arango (20:13): Mm-hmm. Mark Solomon (20:13): And this has fallen in their lap. And this has happens. This does happen where people... Um, I've had to talk to someone who's picking up things and they've had to, like, figure it all out on their own, um, taking care of their, their, uh, their brother, or their sister, or their nephew, or their grandchild. And I would just... I would definitely encourage, keep them in the loop, keep them in the meetings. Have, um, either, uh, have them have copies of all the pertinent documentation that has their name on it. If they're a subsequent trustee of the trust, they need a copy of the trust so they can read it and have the, and have it with them. If they're, um, um, what you call it? A sub- if they're gonna be the follow-up guardian, they need to know what that means. Mark Solomon (21:01): Um, and, and legally, what their responsibilities are and what they can or cannot do. Um, all those things, I would say, are most important is that they understand where the money comes from, where it's going, how it happens, and what their role in it is. Because when it comes down to it, it's the transfer of funds from one place to another to secure, um, to, for security for the child, for the adult child. So if they know how all that operation happens, for the most part, when it... They pick it up, they can just go up and run with it and not be scared. They can have confidence knowing what their role is and what they're doing. Geralyn Anderson Arango (21:41): Yeah. Yeah. And like I say, that's the one that keeps me up right now because, um, it's real, you know? I only have... I have one other child, and I am the surviving, the only surviving parent. And so- Mark Solomon (21:53): Right. Geralyn Anderson Arango (21:53): .. it feels like, "Oh, next?" You know? And so- Mark Solomon (21:56): Right. Geralyn Anderson Arango (21:58): ... I, I don't wanna put myself- Mark Solomon (22:00): Yeah, I, I hear, hear you- Geralyn Anderson Arango (22:00): ... not bumping myself off right there, but. la Mark Solomon (22:01): Right. Uh, my only thought is, is like, find a backup to your backup. Geralyn Anderson Arango (22:07): Yeah. Thinking about that too, is to really- Mark Solomon (22:09): Yeah. Geralyn Anderson Arango (22:09): ... create a support around him, that- Mark Solomon (22:12): Right. Geralyn Anderson Arango (22:12): [inaudible 00:22:13]- Mark Solomon (22:13): His circle... We call it circle of support. Geralyn Anderson Arango (22:15): Yeah. Mark Solomon (22:16): Um- Geralyn Anderson Arango (22:17): And that she- Mark Solomon (22:18): ... and that is like... Yeah, that's wherever he works, wherever he lives, whoever knows him, they... You know, those people are so inter- integral to, to keeping him from getting into trouble. You know, at the supermarket, there could be a checker or two, with the manager who knows who he is. So if something's happening, they can at least make a phone call or they know how to talk to him because they know him. Or, you know, they know not to freak out because he has a disability and they don't know how to deal with it. But that circle of support is very important. Geralyn Anderson Arango (22:52): Yes. Mark Solomon (22:52): So, yeah. That's, that's the ne- that... I- Geralyn Anderson Arango (22:55): Yeah. Mark Solomon (22:56): ... yeah, have that, for sure. Geralyn Anderson Arango (22:57): Yes. Mark Solomon (22:57): You know? Geralyn Anderson Arango (22:58): It supports both of them in a way, you know, that she knows that she's not alone, that people know the story. Mark Solomon (23:04): Right. Geralyn Anderson Arango (23:05): And that he is... Just, there are a few more people who deliberately are thinking about him and, and engaging him. He's got... He... It's, it's, it's something I'm working on. So back to you on that one, but, um- Mark Solomon (23:17): Well, good. Well no, good do that. Geralyn Anderson Arango (23:18): (laughs). Mark Solomon (23:20): Keep working on it. Geralyn Anderson Arango (23:21): Yeah. Yeah. Mark Solomon (23:21): It's good for you and him. Geralyn Anderson Arango (23:23): So now, we can find you on YouTube? Mark Solomon (23:28): Yes. Geralyn Anderson Arango (23:28): On your website, Snfguidance.com? Mark Solomon (23:32): Yes, ma'am. Geralyn Anderson Arango (23:33): Okay. And on Facebook, where- Mark Solomon (23:35): YouTube is Financial Guide for Special Needs Families. Also, our Facebook group is the same name, but if you're not on Facebook, and it's more immediate for you to be on YouTube, please go there. Subscribe so you can get alerts on the videos. We try to put them out every week. Geralyn Anderson Arango (23:48): Yeah. Yes. And they really are good. They're nice bite-size morsels. You know, it's not an hour and a half. It's like 20 minutes, maybe 15, 20 minutes. Mark Solomon (23:56): Yeah. That's all trying- Geralyn Anderson Arango (23:58): They're digestible. Mark Solomon (23:58): ... to do is cover a topic, right. Geralyn Anderson Arango (23:59): Yeah. Mark Solomon (23:59): If I have to do a deep dive, we'll do more than one. Geralyn Anderson Arango (24:02): Sure. Mark Solomon (24:02): But, uh, yeah, that's what we usually do. Geralyn Anderson Arango (24:05): Yeah. And I, I'm grateful. That's how I... That's how I take in information myself. Um, so what do you hope families will remember? Because it's about planning for your adult loved one with a disability, and planning for yourself, so- Mark Solomon (24:21): Yeah. Geralyn Anderson Arango (24:22): ... what, what do you hope people will kind of remember and, and keep on their radar to, to be successful at that double endeavor, that parallel path? Mark Solomon (24:31): Right. That parallel path is that we talk about that, and it's so important. I'm so glad you brought that up, Gerry. It's, it's... I try to let... I, I know it's hard to hear this because as special needs parents, we're never first. Um, but when it comes to the money, you gotta put yourself at least at the same place in your mind with them, if not first. Why? And I tell people, you can't put your retirement aside. You can't put your savings aside. You can't put yourself on the back burner because there's gonna be a time where you can't do what you're doing now. You can't make the salary you're making. You can't move around like you move. You can't do all the physical things that you do. Geralyn Anderson Arango (25:15): Mm-hmm. Mark Solomon (25:16): Um, but I would say you need to also have your own, you know, your own retirement in, or savings in place, or at least thinking about it, because if you retire and you're just living hand-to-mouth, there's nothing you can do in emergencies or in any way to help, um, your, your adult child if something happens. Geralyn Anderson Arango (25:38): Yeah. Mark Solomon (25:38): So, um, saving for yourself and being, um, prepared for retirement where you're... I know I'm gonna say things that people aren't gonna believe, but you need to be debt-free at retirement. You shouldn't be paying a mortgage when you're on a fixed income. You should definitely have your budget in place. You should have enough savings to last you at least 20 years. And people go, " Oh, oh, whoa, whoa. What does all that mean?" Well, that's part of the plan. And if you give yourself enough time, it costs a lot less over a long term to save for the future than it does like in the last 10 years of your working life. Mark Solomon (26:12): So I always encourage people, look, $200 a month now for 20 to 25 years is a whole lot more than $1,000 a month the last eight years. Geralyn Anderson Arango (26:22): Yeah. Mark Solomon (26:22): So start paying attention to it, because if you have, if you have a secured retirement, and I'm not saying you need to be wealthy, you just need to be able to have about 70 to 80% of your income taken care of, because social security's not gonna do it. Geralyn Anderson Arango (26:37): No. Mark Solomon (26:38): And we're crossing our fingers that it's still gonna be there, but it's... You know, you can't bank on it. Geralyn Anderson Arango (26:43): Yeah. Mark Solomon (26:43): Even Social Security themselves say it's not a retirement plan. Geralyn Anderson Arango (26:47): No. Mark Solomon (26:48): The maximum it is is 40% of your income. Maximum. Geralyn Anderson Arango (26:51): Yeah. Mark Solomon (26:51): So most people, you know, the average is less than $1,000 a month to check. Geralyn Anderson Arango (26:56): Right. Mark Solomon (26:56): So by doing that, you'll then Mark Solomon (27:00): And also further secure your child later, 'cause that, all that's transferable, right? Geralyn Anderson Arango (27:04): Right. Mark Solomon (27:04): Those assets can be transferable. So the better you take care of yourself while you're taking care of your child, the better your child will be taken care of when you're gone. So, uh, that parallel path has gotta be, you're doing your best for your child, but you also gotta put yourself there at the same time doing your best for you. Geralyn Anderson Arango (27:22): Mm-hmm. Mark Solomon (27:22): 'Cause by doing that, you're also peripherally taking care of your child for the best. Geralyn Anderson Arango (27:27): Yes, yes, yes. Now I'm gonna slip this in 'cause my husband said it and I said, I'm not sure there's a place for this, but it might be here. Um, he said, and he says it all the time, and it's... I... It's true. That it... This is some wisdom for perhaps the, the younger parents that, like, the days of us of one parent, mother or father, whatever, um, sort of not working at all for decades, um- Mark Solomon (27:56): Mm-hmm. Geralyn Anderson Arango (27:56): Is probably not a- a great plan for most people because one of those parents, their social security record isn't gonna, they're not gonna have one. Mark Solomon (28:08): That's right. Geralyn Anderson Arango (28:10): And so- Mark Solomon (28:11): [inaudible 00:28:11]. Geralyn Anderson Arango (28:11): Yeah. Mark Solomon (28:12): Go ahead. Geralyn Anderson Arango (28:12): No, go ahead. Mark Solomon (28:13): No. Um, uh, and what was, and uh, one, the, the, the good news is, is that, um, in a lot of states, I'm not sure where you are in Wilmington, if it's Delaware, right? Is that where you are? Geralyn Anderson Arango (28:30): Delaware, yeah. Wilmington, Delaware. Mark Solomon (28:32): Right. And, um, I don't know what they have in place. You said you had some waiver program there, which was great through about Medicaid, but in a lot, in several states, California, there's a huge blessing, and I'm not saying people should just move, but, um, find out what's available, uh, for in-home supportive care services for your child. Uh, in California they have a thing called IHSS, which is in-home supportive services. And basically they will pay you to take care of your child because it costs them less than it would for them to do it for you. Geralyn Anderson Arango (29:09): Right. Right. Mark Solomon (29:10): So parents can stay home, one of them can. Geralyn Anderson Arango (29:14): Right. Mark Solomon (29:14): Um, and secure an income that's substantial enough that not only can you live, but... and survive, but you can actually thrive. Um, they have similar things in Florida, I believe Oregon and Colorado. Geralyn Anderson Arango (29:28): Mm-hm. Mark Solomon (29:28): I'm not sure where you are in Delaware or, um- Geralyn Anderson Arango (29:31): Nic is in Pennsylvania. Mark Solomon (29:33): In Pennsylvania? Geralyn Anderson Arango (29:33): So what we have... Yeah. The structure that we have is with... I'm the common law employer, so I don't get paid. We're s... We're sort of a self-direction hybrid. And so- Mark Solomon (29:43): Yeah. Geralyn Anderson Arango (29:44): ... Nick's services are work. He gets job coaching, so that's an agency, but the rest is me hiring and I'm, I'm human resources person. Mark Solomon (29:53): Right. We have that in California- Geralyn Anderson Arango (29:55): Yeah. Mark Solomon (29:55): ... as well through what's called the regional center, um, uh, regional center, um, uh, structure here where services are delineated from the state through the regional center. But we have a thing called self-determination. Geralyn Anderson Arango (30:09): Right. Mark Solomon (30:09): Where we do the same thing. Um, we have services and we have a budget and we hire people and, but the good news is, is that in some cases we can hire ourselves. Geralyn Anderson Arango (30:21): Mm-hmm. Mark Solomon (30:22): But, um, getting back to your point about a single income household and how difficult that is and how in the future that could be a problem. I would always, unless you're on SSI as a family, and I always talk about how to double your SSI income through part-time work. And that's, uh, a video, a couple of videos I've done on that, but working part-time from home is probably, uh, very prudent, a good idea. Geralyn Anderson Arango (30:49): Okay. Mark Solomon (30:49): Find a way to make income. I even talk to people about, shop for elderly folks in your neighborhood, mow lawns, walk dogs, do something for cash. So, you know, where it's more of like a friendly service where people would like pay you to babysit their kids or things like that. But there are so many customer service or data entry or some kind of position online- Geralyn Anderson Arango (31:14): Mm-hmm. Mark Solomon (31:14): ... that you can work from home 15, 20, 30 hours a week where you can make a decent income. Geralyn Anderson Arango (31:20): Yeah. Mark Solomon (31:20): And you can still be with your child. Geralyn Anderson Arango (31:21): Mm-hmm. Mark Solomon (31:22): And you can still give those services and that attention that's necessary. Geralyn Anderson Arango (31:25): Yeah. Mark Solomon (31:27): Um, [inaudible 00:31:28]. Geralyn Anderson Arango (31:27): And have a work record for social security. Mark Solomon (31:30): Right, right. Geralyn Anderson Arango (31:30): Yeah. Mark Solomon (31:31): And yeah, as long as you're employed, yes you can, you can build up those 40 credits for social security and have something for them later if necessary. Um, I just really, I really think that especially to kind of like help pay for the things that are extra. If you can do something that's not gonna be overtaxing, uh, and stressful, I would, I would recommend it's a good idea- Geralyn Anderson Arango (31:57): Okay. Mark Solomon (31:57): ... to figure that out. And we can talk about it one- on-one. Geralyn Anderson Arango (32:00): Okay. Mark Solomon (32:00): Whoever, uh, come, uh, you know, has a consultation, uh, if they have a skill set, um, you know, we can always explore things like that. Geralyn Anderson Arango (32:09): That's awesome. Well, well tha... Well, thanks Mark so much. Thank you so much for all this helpful information, for talking with me today. I'm glad you made time to... for us to chat. Um, and so- Mark Solomon (32:20): Yes. Geralyn Anderson Arango (32:20): ... listeners, I'm gonna say thank you to you too for spending so much time on today's episode of Our Parallel Paths with Mark Solomon of financial guidance for special needs families. I hope you'll check out his resources, we'll put them in, um, the show notes as well, and maybe you'll even wanna schedule a consultation. Geralyn Anderson Arango (32:38): So, um, on that note also, I hope that you'll like and comment and follow our podcast, that you'll share it with family and friends. And I really hope you'll return to listen and learn from more stories of people like you and me and our loved one with a disability on Our Parallel Paths. I want you to know you're not alone. I'd love to hear from you. Feel free to comment, to rate the podcast and to join our Facebook group. This podcast is produced by Networks for Training and Development, and I'll see you next time.